Hurry up and wait...

There are many phrases and quotes in movies, television and music we could use throughout our gut-busting, tear-jerking, thought provoking lifestyle, right?! Especially country music any form or decade of it will have you swimming in tears!  “Crazy…” “You had me from hello…” “I will stand by you, I will help you through. When you’ve done all you can do and you can’t cope.  I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight..” “American Soldier…” For movies though, my version of the hilarious but truthful Forrest Gump quote is, “The military is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the hell you’re gonna get.” 

As a spouse we never really do know what is going on from one day to the next.  You can’t predict classes that take all day and night, training schedules, field days, or even injuries.   You take the day as it comes and try your best to conform to the military lifestyle motto of “go with the flow.”  This way of thinking also spurred the terms “Hurry up and wait” or “Semper Gumby” in some realms. 

‘Go with the flow’ serves as a sometimes daily reminder to remain as flexible as mentally possible to the military’s demands; quite like a Stretch Armstrong toy.  Am I jogging some memories of those awesome little toys?  Hey!  I may have to look on Ebay now for my kids as hands on training.

So I know what you’re saying, “it’s easier said than done!” I agree it is an ongoing battle to override the urge to plan things.  Typically I am involved in the unit enough to know bits and pieces but not always big things so as wives we rely on our husbands.  Normal and good to go right?!  Well the men normally as habit nod their heads but don’t actually retain any information we’re telling them so by the 3^rd time you’ve asked the same question it can easily escalate to you pulling your hair out I know!  I’m a planner by nature and it bugs me to the point of gray hair to not have the knowledge I need in order to plan or know the details to the littlest of things!  So if you feel boxed in or boxed out of things don’t feel bad at all it is completely normal.  Vacations 12 months in advance, setting up a weekend getaway or even plan dinner in advance can be difficult at times.  Keep pulling that Stretch Armstrong doll as a stress object and we’ll get through the craziness together. 

This lifestyle is very demanding and hectic at times but with a great guy by your side, many ladies ‘walkin’ this way’ with ya and the support of a nation we can conquer whatever the military has to throw at us.  We’re proud of our men and would like to see our husbands every now and again ahem ahem sir in charge!  Yet we’re deeply patriotic through and through enough to know we wouldn’t have our lives any other way! 

Have we been forgotten?

As the years have come and gone since the beginning of this war do you think America feels the weight of this war?  More than on the federal budget level though; I mean by remembering or even acknowledgment of the heroes who’ve paid the ultimate sacrifice.  Or whether they realize how the reality of war has impacted military families’ day to day lives?  Just let your mind wander on that for a quick second.  I’m not counting the current military families, those who are an extension through a loved one or who have prior military service realize the heaviness of this war I’m referring of the others we call civilians.

Most Americans are so wrapped up into their own lives, schedules and blackberries to even look up and beyond themselves to see more than their bank accounts, personal problems and insecurities to remember the military more than just what they see on the picture box.  Wake up, breakfast, drive to work then meetings, play on the internet and of course Facebook, eat again, drive home, pet the dog, dinner, sleep and repeat.  Sadly jaded and tunnel vision programmed for the most part with the exception of the weekend.  

It is pretty disheartening to those whose lives aren’t as normal.  I don’t know if the frustration is because we feel as if others don’t understand and grasp how we feel, our intense patriotism, recognize our sacrifices or if it’s just that since we’re such a small percentage of the nation we just are the runt of the litter and overlooked since some believe there are more pressing issues than our military and their families; maybe it’s all of those.  

Military wives never have the luxury of a routine as stringent and constantly have to worry about private life altering phone calls and unexpected, uninvited uniformed visitors every day.  Thankfully we get a daily reminder of why our guys are doing what they’re doing unlike civilians.  We get an instant refill of patriotism every time we wake up hearing those trumpets playing colors.  (By the way am I the only one who tries to experience that when visitors come to town?  The overcast, misty morning dew, standing by the flag as the uniformed service members perform the ceremony to raise Old Glory just gives you goose bumps every time.)  Then walk our kids to school to hear them say the Pledge of Allegiance and then to the Flag (if you’re in Texas hehe) then reality sits in and we silently think, ‘what kind of day will this be for my family with my loved one in harms’ way?’ Then whispers a prayer to keep her spouse safe so as he can come home soon.  

Veteran’s Day & Memorial Day ceremonies at the National Cemeteries, reenlistment ceremonies, seeing the bands play patriotic songs, graduation ceremonies, send-off deployment events, homecomings, Purple Heart ceremonies and KIA memorial ceremonies is what is normal to us.  As well as the kids crying for their fathers to hold them, tuck them in but can’t and always looking in the stands at baseball games they miss every game throughout the season.  These kids miss their dads on Christmas mornings, birthday parties, take your kids to work day and Father’s Day when everyone else in America has theirs readily available. 

Walmart, the grocery store, a football field, and even safe in your bed at any moment can be the place where our lives can change in an instant and our worlds completely fall apart.  This is our norm though and we do it without hesitation not because we have to but because we more than want to.  We gave our hearts away to our service members and they’ll take that once piece of us with them where ever the service takes them.

Good news is that regardless of the nation’s attention to our plight through it all we have our other military wives and those few who do understand to fall back on and help walk side by side through this incredibly demanding and surreal lifestyle.  If you haven’t ever thanked your mentor or someone who’s helped you accomplish deployments, work ups or any other military related activity do so.  Volunteer and make a difference in another wives’ life maybe even just helping another spouse who may need a little pick me up like we all do from time to time.  This life is not easy or for the faint of heart but we do have strength in numbers ladies.  Make it a great day today!

Welcome Aboard!

This blog is intended to be about the lifestyle of military wives, our routines, worries, highs and lows and overall how we make it through this journey in our lives supporting our service members. The intent for this blog is to be inspirational, funny, and an informational guide to those women who will soon go through or are going through this chosen way of life. Whether you’re military or not the interest has always been there for those inquiring about the way we live so hopefully I can also fill in the void to better understand where we’re coming from. I am only human so if and when I make an error please let me know; there are constant changes to policies and standards with the military in general in which I may not always be aware of.

Marine Corps, Army, Navy, Air Force, National Guard, Coast Guard and reservists all have different jobs which branch off into a hierarchy of front line positions and support staff. Depending on which branch you are in you will experience at times similar but also very different lives being married to a military service member.

Girlfriends, fiancée’s and new wives I’ve said this a million times the military life for everyone involved is not for the faint of heart and it is not just a job to the men by any normal definition; you become adhered and attached to it in more ways than one whether you like it or not. Your everyday schedule, holiday planning, anniversaries, birthdays, vacations; ect will all work around the military’s training and deployment schedules and not your own (some exclusions apply depending on the circumstance). Probably like most I wasn’t very fond of it at the beginning but have learned to embrace it and that being “Semper Gumby” aka extremely flexible isn’t so bad after all. Being the people person I am & helping out my husband’s unit has afforded me the privilege to be motivated by wives who have been there and done that already. I have met some amazing wives along the way. They’ve taught me that being a military wife in the 21st century is nowhere near as challenging as it was for those who came and went before us. Through time on our base & their stories I’ve acquired the knowledge and ability to basically roll with the punches, go with the flow, be thankful and grateful and just suck it up. There are very good and even some very bad times throughout this voyage but we have to be strong and able to overcome any obstacles that come our way.

If there is anyone out there who is in need of information, a little thicker skin, shoulder to lean on or to learn from you have come to the right place. This blog will be a learning tool and place for useful relevant information for wives who can or will benefit from this information in conjunction with the outstanding support of HonorVet.org.